Ah, the great outdoors. The perfect place to bolster manliness. While those soft, city folks are trapped in their concrete cages sipping Starbucks, you’re out here in the wild surviving. Your menu is limited to things you can cook on the blazing bonfire you made yourself, and for once your eyes aren’t glued to a screen. Surrounded by the sounds and smells of nature, you can finally escape all the absurdity of modern civilization, at least for a little while. You can always go back to it when you’re done camping. These are the very best camping sites in the wide wilderness of America, and you have found yourself at one of them because you never settle for “good enough.” You aren’t just sitting around in the woods here, you are enjoying the majestic wonder of Mother Nature in all her glory.
Wawona Campground: Yosemite National Park
This National Park is as burly and beautiful as Teddy Roosevelt’s mustache. We’re talking redwoods that scrape the sky, roaring waterfalls and picturesque mountaintop views. The campsite is located in Yosemite Valley and the season runs from April to September. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to camp out in the snow anyway. With countless hiking trails, serious rock climbing, fishing and much more, Yosemite offers plenty to satisfy every man’s inner adventurer.
Mather Campground and Desert View Campground: The Grand Canyon
Have you ever witnessed a wonder of nature so massive that it can be seen from space? The Grand Canyon is 277 miles long, an average of 4,000 feet deep and a whopping 18 miles wide at its widest point. This giant crack in the rocky desert is so huge that you can’t even hike from the rim to the river and back in one day. The trails range in difficulty from “steep” to “very steep.” There are actually two main campsites at the park: Mather Campground is located in the Grand Canyon Village, while Desert View is in a much less developed area. Which one you choose is really a question of how far off the grid you want to go?
Grant Village Campground: Yellowstone National Park
You have never truly lived until you have stood mere feet away from the untamed majesty of a wild bull moose. Seriously, those things are HUGE. Yellowstone is home to moose, elk, grizzlies, bison and some pretty sweet geysers to go with them. The Grant Village Campground is located a few miles from the West Thumb Geyser Basin and Yellowstone Lake. These bubbling hot springs were created by a volcanic explosion around 150,000 years ago. Old Faithful is another really cool geyser located in Yellowstone, probably the most famous one due to the regularity and frequency of its eruptions. It is definitely worth checking out, sexual innuendoes aside.
Bowman Lake Campground: Glacier National Park
The pinnacle of camping is getting completely off the grid (no cell service) and going primitive. The Crown of the Continent, Glacier National Park, in northwest Montana is a pristine wilderness offering top-tier campers the utmost in solitude. The park boasts 700 miles of hiking trails, fishing in a multitude of isolated lakes and boating (though boating has been closed since November of 2016 due to the detection of an invasive species of mussels). There are many campgrounds within the park and only some take reservations. Bowman Lake Campground is not one of them. It is first-come, first serve, and depending on conditions, primitive campsites are also available. If you do go primitive, be sure to bring your own water supply. Yep, it’s that serious.
Cumberland Campgrounds: Cumberland Island National Park
If you like having your toes in the water and a** in the sand, the primitive beach camping on Cumberland Island, Georgia, is for you. This campsite is particularly unique in that you can only get to it by boat. Here, you can wake up in the morning, roll out of your tent and you are just a short walk away from the ocean. There are a few campgrounds on the island, some with basic amenities and others that are pure wilderness. Make sure to pack wisely as the ferry only comes a few times a day and other than that, you are pretty much stranded. Oh, and the island is also home to a lot of wild horses if you are into that sort of thing.
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